Well, I made it through my first month of 31 before having some kind of “I’m in my 30s WHAT AM I DOING?!” Crisis! I think that’s a pretty great run, and I’m honestly a bit surprised that I’m recognizing that’s what this is before it spirals out of control.
I believe what it truly is, is feeling like I’ve approached the line of burnout, and I don’t want to cross it, but I do want to find healthy ways to walk near it. Not that I want to be near burnout all the time, but that “burnout” could turn into productivity if I change my mindset now.
I’m in a time where I’m having to put some things on pause, like my workouts (I’ll explain in a bit), and its opening my mind up to the path I was on, and where I should direct myself.
I absolutely LOVE coaching! I love what it is now, I love where its taking me, I love the friendships, the experience, the challenge, and the satisfaction it brings to my life. But, I am noticing that the scales of coaching are not balanced with the scales of Roaming With Purpose, which is ultimately my WHY for all things. So if these aren’t in balance there is a problem. I can already feel the spark reigniting under Roaming With Purpose with just this simple thought of taking a step back, and getting back to my why! Its so easy to get caught up with the business and getting to the next goal that the reason it was all started can be put aside in the hustle.
So right here and right now I’m making the decision to ALWAYS put Roaming With Purpose first. RWP was started in April 2017, and for a long time was just for me. Just my space to document my adventures, and share some of the things I learned along the way. But over time it began to grow into something else. A community. I connected with amazing people in my area (and around the country) who have the same passions, dream the same dreams, and want the same things out of life in the moment. It was refreshing and exciting, and unexpected!
One BIG thing that has changed with Roaming With Purpose in the last (almost) year, is that where I had always planned and gone out on my own, I’m now happily and whole-heartedly doing this with another person in mind. Denny is now in all of my future plans, and I want him to completely be a part of the process. Yes, I do 100% understand that I need solo time, and I love hiking on my own, and even camping on my own (!!!), but I want to share my life and these moments with him.
Another thing that has been at the forefront of my l life recently is my nutrition. I have always eaten relatively well, but to be honest I kinda let loose after my birthday, but it has taken a toll on my body. I’ve gained a few pounds, which doesn’t make me dislike my body, but is noticeable. I also had less energy, higher anxiety, wasn’t sleeping well, and TMI but my periods were all over the place. A few months ago I took control of my nutrition, and realized I wasn’t eating nearly enough food for the amount of activity I typically do, so I wasn’t getting as much of the benefits as I could. So I jumped to eating the amount of food as I should and it was SO MUCH FOOD! I also wasn’t meal prepping properly, so I was scrambling at times to make meals last minute. Not a good idea, lemme tell ya.
I think I got overwhelmed with this, and threw it to the wind for whatever I was wanting to eat. I’m a big emotional eater. FOR SURE. I always crave cake or chips, and I’ve recently been thinking about crumbing Ruffles chips on top of a cake… I know. It would be absolutely amazing, and absolutely terrible for me. But I would eat the whole thing in a heartbeat LOL. I’ve also been going through a lot of stress at work the last couple months, which has only heightened everything related to anxiety and stress in my life. A perfect storm for lack of energy and motivation, and finding the easy ways to get tasty food that isn’t the healthiest.
So I’m doing a thing! Today is May first, and I’m on day 6 of 21 of a reset. Its not a diet, its not really a cleanse, its not juicing. Its 3 weeks of eating a TON of food (veggies mostly) while taking supplements throughout the day to gently clean out my whole guy and digestive system.
This week has already had its highs and lows. I would give about anything for a beer and a bacon cheeseburger, but no… I’m sticking to this! I’m almost 1/3 of the way through. Starting Monday I cut out animal protein and dairy for a week, and the third week will be a completely vegan diet. I was provided the supplements along with meals and recipes for 3 meals a day for all 21 days, yoga for each day, and how to mentally prepare, sustain, and succeed through these 3 weeks. One BIG reason I decided to go for this is because literally everything is planned for me, and I don’t have to think about it. I just have to go to the grocery store each Sunday!
Its definitely a challenge, I’m not always motivated, I’ve wondered if this is really something for me, and going three weeks without caffeine or alcohol isn’t something I’ve done in a long time. But I have a great support system, and I know that at the end of this it will be worth it. Just 15 days left to go! I love me some veggies, but I am SO TIRED of salads! I’ve been eating salads bigger than my head! I’m always feeling bloated, went through some sugar withdrawals until I finally got some fruit, and have been needing a lot more sleep than normal. I’m hoping this week levels out a bit, and supposedly I’ll get some of that energy back.
Another challenge during this process is that I’m not supposed to be doing my intense workouts. I still lift heavy paper boxes at work, but aside from that I’m doing yoga in the evenings and taking it easy. The thought behind this is that my body is doing a lot of work to reset my system, and I don’t want to also make it work to rebuild muscle and recover from workouts. Working out has been a great stress reliever for me, and I don’t have that outlet for a bit. I just know it’ll feel amazing when I can get back to it! And I know exactly what program I’m going to do, and its all about dance!!!
Also, I know I’ve been talking all about committing to this space and posting more consistency, and I’ve been letting myself down and not following this commitment. This brings us back to what I talked about in the beginning about getting back to my WHY and my purpose. This is it.
To wrap up, I’m here, I’m present. I took a step back to see what was taking too much of my time and spirit, and I’m adjusting. I’m making changes, and re-centering. I’m getting back to the beginning, and moving forward once again. I know more, I’ve experienced more, and I have love, confidence, and determination.
Let’s do this thing!