Checking In Pt. 1

My brain is swirling! There’s so much going on in my head, and I just felt called to bring it to this space. I’m fully feeling the value and impact that posting here has on not only myself and my mental health and my spirit, but also for others out there. At this point there aren’t many of you, but its not about the quantity, right? Its the quality and the community that is building here and in my real life, which I am happy to bring together. 

I’m feeling motivated and excited to have this newfound direction towards my dreams, but in some ways its like I’m walking along the trail and all these things are still swirling around above my head and I’m still having trouble connecting with them. The one that is getting close is this space. Committing to showing up here, and feeling like with each word, my steps are actually taking me somewhere. Does that make sense?

I sat with these thoughts, and part of why I’m finally able to take this action is because I took that pause. I took that pause before burnout, before feeling overwhelmed, and before shutting down, and really took a look at what was happening. I was losing control of some aspects of my life, and they were the aspects that were my WHY, and what I am most passionate about. In some ways, its also growing into the idea that there are others who are looking to me for their guidance and their motivation and support and I want to be able to show up authentically and fully for them. So I took this pause for me, so I can then be here for them. I absolutely love everything that is happening right now, and I’m both allowing the universe to align everything that I am opening up to it, and taking action to help it along 🙂 

Does this sound vague? These are all still feelings, and I’m just beginning to be able to put them into words. This could end up being a whole series! 

I understand that this is a long windy, forky road, and it won’t always be a smooth ride, but I feel like I’m finally in the car and driving. I think I need an adventure. A literal road to literally drive down. Or maybe a vision board. Are those still a thing? A visual representation of all these things swirling above my head. If anyone has any Pinterest article for me please send it my way!

As I’m writing this, I’m on day 9 of this 21 day reset. Physically I am starting to feel the effects. I feel released from caffeine, alcohol, and processed sugar! I sleep well, I wake up feeling awake and ready for the day, and I have consistent energy throughout the day. I have cut out animal protein and dairy this week, and while all I want is a big ol’ bacon cheeseburger, I know this is good for me, and I do look forward to continuing my discoveries of plant-based proteins down the road! Emotionally, ALL I WANT is cake and potato chips! My food cravings are at an all-time high, and this is the part of the reset that is the most challenging for everyone who goes through this, and where the most impact is made at the end. I am breaking the bonds with food that got me to where I am, and I am excited to start fresh after this, and to get back to my workouts and get that sweat going each morning. I miss that. 

So, while I’m still discovering and unfolding and finding my way down the trail or road or whatever metaphor I used (I think both?) I thank you for being here. For showing up and showing support and motivation and input! I feel connected to so many like-minded people who are truly helping me along the way. Even in spirit. And this may sound silly, because I JUST talked about quality over quantity, but with each post like and each follow it feels like someone who is aligned with me and my journey, and wants to be a part of it. And honestly that is part of what gets me excited to come back to my keyboard and research more, write more, and share more of myself! 

Side note – I’m on the hunt for a new bikini! My body has changed in great ways since I last bought one, and I no longer fit… I’m wanting a brand that makes sustainable products, possibly recycled materials, and I’m willing to pay a little more for something that will last me a long time

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