Well, here I am! I’m now 32 years old, and have had a few realizations so far this week!
Firstly, and this is not to say I’m COMPARING my life to my parents now, but there’s a surreal feeling to being the age they were when significant things happened in our lives. 30 is how old my parents were when I was born, 31 is how old they were when they got divorced, and 32 is how old my dad was when he had his accident. Up until now its been the thought that my parents are always just older than me, but now I’m experiencing the same time in life that they did when I was a baby, and I can’t imagine having a baby right now! At 32 my mom was a single mom to a 2 year old – say what?! Again – I’m not comparing. I don’t feel like I should be married with a baby right now.
The weekend was glorious, and much needed. We celebrated St. Patrick’s Day from our balcony as the parade went by on the street below, I went for a nice long around Forest Park walk with Kate, Miles, and Hanley followed by some yummy Indian food, Denny brought me flowers and made me breakfast, and we had lunch with my dad. All good things! I had plenty of movement, good food and drinks, and great company.
As I’m getting back into a normal routine, I’m finding it much easier to get up in the mornings and get a workout in before the day starts. As I’ve had time to think about my body and my relationship with it, the thought of a workout seems less like something I “should” do, and more like something I get to do. As this mindset settles into my brain I know the same will happen with my nutrition and food choices. Most of the junky snack food is out of the apartment, and I’m left with the better choices I honestly wouldn’t go for at first.
I’m walking through a doorway into a new room, a new space of life. Where my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health is a priority, and my mind and body are more in sync than ever before. And this connection spirals out into all my other relationships and aspirations in life. I’ve downloaded the app Calm, which aids in meditation, breathing, sleeping, intentional movement and thought, and all around re-centering. Last night I got the best sleep I’ve had in a really long time. This is it, its all happening, and I’m ready for it. I think.
When it comes to my physical health, I’ve decided that I want something to track, but I don’t want it to be my weight. I’m happy with the weight I’m at currently, but I want to convert some of this fluff to muscle! So, I’m tracking measurements. I measured myself for the first time this morning, and that will be how I track my progress. Also, photos. The way I LOOK has more of an impact on how I feel I’m progressing than a number on a scale.
There isn’t really much more to say right now. I’m loving who I am and what I am in this moment, and I’m making the time to explore myself and who I’m becoming. I’m also finding that in doing this I have more space in my life for the people I care about, and spending time with them doesn’t feel emotionally exhausting or draining anymore.
This weekend we’re going to Kentucky to spend some time with Denny’s mom. I wouldn’t call it a “vacation,” but it is definitely an adventure and the break from life and the city that we need. Its been a lot of just keeping our heads down and working and getting through the winter, and now its time to start playing in the Spring 🙂