journal, Life

Journal Post 4 – 2022

Well, hello April! It might still be chilly outside, but we’re in the midst of my favorite time of year! I love the chill in the air with the warm sun approaching, life coming back with green growing, birds singing, and rain falling to nourish all of it. My ceiling might be leaking….. but that’s why landlords are handy! And I happen to have a pretty great landlord. 

ANYWAY!

To get right to it, I’m a mess. On the one hand, my life feels pretty great. On the other, I’m heartbroken. Selfishly. Well, I’m grieving. Is that selfish? A dear friend of mine and former boss, Greg, is dying. He has fought stage 4 colon cancer for just over 2 years now, and the time has come when treatment is no longer working. His story is not mine to tell, but he is in hospice, and I can’t imagine a world without him in it. Since I left the print shop a few months ago we hadn’t been in as much contact, but we’ve kept up on social media, and his family has a Facebook group that gives updates on his prognosis and experiences. I feel selfish for my life being in such a better place than it was a few months ago while he and his family are going through all of this. 

I’ve experienced a lot of loss already this year. This is not something I want to deal with, but its not my timeline, and I have an amazing support system. 

Do I change topics now? 

Work has been stressful this week. Next week is the first event I’ve planned at this new job. I’m REALLY excited for it, but now that I’m 6 months in to the job I’m learning the little bits and quirks about the company. This isn’t to say I’m not liking the job as much – I LOVE my job, but I’m settled in now, and a part of it all. I think the biggest thing for me is that while I’m a creative I thrive on deadlines. Having a date something needs to be done really helps me to get it done. Deadlines don’t really exist with this new job LOL I love that I work with creatives and they’re doing some amazing things, but not having content ready to go to print for an event in 2 business days has been giving me SO MUCH anxiety. But, ultimately, going through this for the first time, I’m learning how to adjust my expectations down the road. I have two more of these events to plan, but they’re later on this year, and will have less working parts. And I’ll get to travel! Yay!

On to another thing. 

Last week I changed my Instagram handle away from MaggieRWP. For a while now, in this funk/phase of life/whatever you want to call it, I haven’t felt connected to Roaming With Purpose or know what it really is. It all started at the end of last summer I wiped this space clean and started over, but how did it all flow together? I wasn’t sure. So I dabbled in changing my name on Instagram, and it was noticed! 

What it comes down to is this – I love Roaming With Purpose, its been a HUGE part of my life the last 5 years, and I really can’t let it go. I don’t want to! But, I do know that I need to be all in if its going to grow the way I’ve always dreamed it will. I’m in a place now where I feel like I have a bit more direction, and clarity is not as far out of reach as I once thought. And now that Spring has arrived my whole outlook on life is improving, and I’m ready to get out there and make things happen 🙂 and create and share and connect and explore! 

Its safe to say there’s a lot going on in my head and in my heart. By this time next week my work stress will be much lower, and I’m thinking I’ll have the mental capacity to get some real work done in the rest of my life. Also, I’m getting a hair cut tonight! I’m going to a REAL salon with a REAL hairdresser, and I can’t wait! I’m a bit nervous, because I’m not used to people  (except for Denny) touching my head, but I’m more excited about a little self-care time. I’m also going to paint my nails, and do a little shopping to prep for this event next week! I don’t have much business casual attire, and I’m still not able to fit into my jeans….. so maybe instead of that feeling I’ll get myself a pair that fits me now! BOOM! I want to meet my body where its at, and have the patience. Instead of pushing to fit into my jeans, I’ll just get a new pair that won’t bring about those thoughts – no matter the number on the tag! For real though, its taken a long time to get to this point in thinking. 

One last thing – I’ve been thinking about my covid hobby that never happened – quilting! I want to get back to it. So that’s a thing I’ve been thinking about. I have to brush up on my sewing machine, and re-learn how to use it (LOL), and its all uphill from there. I’d like to have a quilt done by the end of the year. That’s still 9 months! Seems doable, right?

Oh yes! We were in Kentucky last weekend with Denny’s mom and step-dad. It was great! Denny did a lot of work to help his mom in her woodworking shop. One thing we’re making a point to do is try new places when we’re there. Murray is a small college town, but there are so many great things! This time we tried a new coffee shop called Shaffer Coffee one morning, and a Mexican restaurant on our way out of town on Sunday. Both were AMAZING! 

Happy Friday, I hope you have a WONDERFUL weekend, and I’ll check in next week! 

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