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Journal Post 5 – 2022

Well hey there! 

Firstly, I would love to thank those who reached out and gave some amazing suggestions for letting go of anxiety! I still feel it a bit, but it feels manageable and much smaller than it did last week. 

Life is still chaotic, as always. The summer is in full swing (its currently 93 degrees outside), and our calendar is filling up quickly. All good things, but I’m also finding myself emotionally preparing for all the socializing I’ll be doing. 

My mindset is in such a better place. I’ve been filling my time with taking care of myself, filling up my own cup, and really sifting through my priorities. I’m going for a walk every morning before it gets super hot to get my steps in (7k steps per day goal currently), working out (mostly strength training right now), and am focusing on planning my meals. Learning about my macros, and holding myself accountable to tracking them has made a HUGE difference here! 

Let’s take this back a couple weeks. It was Saturday May 7th, and we were out celebrating Cinco de Mayo. It was so much fun, and I finally got to meet the one and only Jeff Burton! He’s on 1057 The Point’s morning radio show, and I’ve been a fan for a long time. A few years ago we connected on Instagram through our love of the outdoors and the trails, and have kept in touch ever since. Yay for Instagram friendships! I’m hoping sometime this summer we can get out on a hike together 🙂 

I had a really good time, but I wasn’t wanting to be out all night bar hopping and drinking. Part of me wishes that I had that experience with Denny, but also we don’t have to do things together all the time. So I came home and then realized I didn’t want to be at home. So I packed my new REI pack, changed my clothes, and headed out to the trails! I went on an awesome 5.5 mile hike on one of my favorite trails – Lewis & Clark (trail review posted last week). It was the first time in a long time that I hiked in the dark, but I was prepared, and the sunset over the Missouri River was 1000% worth it. 

That was really the moment I realized how easy it was to put myself first more, and that its not a problem in our relationship to do our own thing. I do hope Denny hikes with me more often, but I’m also perfectly happy being out there on my own. 

Since then, I’ve been practicing meditation, eating with intent, building a new morning routine, and (most importantly, I think) LETTING THINGS GO! Embracing how I’m feeling in the moment, and knowing that its ok to feel however I’m feeling, and if its anxiety or stress I know it’ll pass. 

Also, I’m finding myself becoming a huge fan of pilates! I went to a free intro class with my friend Kate a few weeks ago, and on the spot I signed up for 3 months of classes (4 classes a month), and I love it so much! I’ve been to two classes, am still very new, but oh my gosh its absolutely amazing! If you haven’t been to a class, I highly suggest it. I’ve experienced two teachers at this studio, and they’re very different, but so fun and engaging and effective! My thinking is that I’m currently not very good about stretching and recovery after each week of workouts, and this will be a great way to get a workout in while also getting that stretching and recovery that my body and mind need. All good things!

I’m not going to go on too much about macros and nutrition, because I’m still very much a beginner, and don’t want to let on that I’m an expert in this field. What I have learned, though, is that before I was tracking my meals and working towards macro goals each day, I was not eating nearly enough food! I wasn’t! Working out isn’t just about working your body, but giving it the proper nutrition and giving it ENOUGH of it. I wasn’t at all. Another thing about this, which I’ve been having to keep myself in check with and not get frustrated with it, is that in eating so much more food to accommodate all the movement and training, I’m going to gain some weight because my body isn’t used to so much dens volume. So much more protein, carbs, and calories. My body needs time to adjust to the amount of food, and my metabolism will catch up. Once this becomes my norm, it’ll be smooth(er) sailing. Well, that’s how its supposed to work anyway! I know it won’t always be perfect, and physical goals aren’t linear. I still want to enjoy my life, drink some beers on the river, lay on the couch all day sometimes, and that’s ok! 

Its safe to say that I’ve gotten myself over the anxiety mountain I was struggling to get to the top of  a couple weeks ago. I feel I’ve been more consistent with posting, recipes, and getting the writing done each week. Its helped that its been a slower week with my 9-5 this week. I’ve had more time for mental freedom, creativity, and decompressing. I needed this, and I’m doing my best to take it and run with it!  

I hope you all are wrapping up a wonderful week, are planning something for yourself this weekend, and take some time to fill your cup so that you can fill the cups of others. 

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